what are you running from?
“We run from situations when we’re not content.” I read this yesterday in some notes I had taken in my Bible a while back. Running away is a natural response to hard times. Adam and Eve ran from the Lord when they knew they had sinned, even though they knew that they couldn’t run away from God. Being discontent can be found in a variety of things considering everyone has their own insecurities. For me, I can easily find problems in my outward appearance, friends, my work environment, and financial state.
Less than a month ago I made a big life decision. I was just visiting family friends in NJ with my sister. We drove up together since she was moving into college in PA while I was visiting. While moving her onto campus the president offered me a position and housing… I knew I wanted to move to the northeast but I had no idea it would happen that fast. All within a span of a week I flew back to AR, packed up my things, and started my new job as an admissions counselor! I did not have time to process what even happened and it didn’t hit me until I was alone in my big apartment far from home and the friends I had for the last 3 years. There were many other factors that played into this decision. For instance, I had been praying a lot and felt strongly that the Lord was moving in my life, but I also have seen myself move on emotions in the past. Two questions have replayed in my mind since that first night I moved here. First “What are you running from?” and second, “Was this decision based on feelings?” I began questioning these things for a lot of reasons. I was living in Springfield, MO post graduation and had dealt with the insecurities I listed above along with post grad depression. I was talking with a friend just last week about some of the things I was experiencing during that time. She responded with, “Hannah, those were not thoughts from the Lord, those were from the enemy, he is the one that gave you thoughts of doubt and confusion.” I can look back now and see that. While it should have been so obvious to me, it is hard to snap out of discontent when you are in too deep. I began to pray to the Lord and ask him to help me with my insecurities. In this time, I have been convicted of so many situations I handled wrong. While working on ourselves is not easy, it is so rewarding. I am becoming more aware of my insecurities and praying against them immediately. While this transition in my life has not been easy, I have already grown so much and can see that these life changes are making me a better person. If you have EVER struggled with questioning a decision you have made then ask yourself how you can learn from it. If there’s one thing I know for certain, God works ALL things for good.
If you are in a state of being discontent and are tempted to make a rash decision ask yourself what you’re running from. Sometimes we just need a little wake up reminder of all the amazing aspects of our life. I am learning to do that today. Instead of questioning whether this move was the right decision I am thanking God for the things I do have and the experiences I am learning from.
Until next time,
